


Warning Signs

by illoryn



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Depression, F/M, Family Loss, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Hurt Peter, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Protective Steve Rogers, Sad, Sad Ending, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Steve Feels, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Superfamily, Superfamily (Marvel), Tony Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Triggers, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 18:24:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11903583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illoryn/pseuds/illoryn
Summary: The signs that Peter Parker were not okay went unnoticed, until it was too late.-triggers are listed in tags + notes





	Warning Signs

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGERS: suicide, suicide attempt, selfharm [not detailed], referenced suicide, family loss, anxiety
> 
> this started as a vent but i ended up spending 2 weeks on this. 
> 
> comments are appreciated.

The warning signs were always there, ever since his encounter with the Vulture. It's just that nobody paid enough attention to notice. 

"He's late." A voice spoke up, startling Tony Stark. 

"What? Isn't it only ten?" Tony frowned, standing up and walking towards his husband, Steve.

"It's ten past one and Peter is late." Steve repeated, his face was set but his voice was laced with worry. Tony's frown deepened and he walked past Steve towards their adopted son’s bedroom, the latter following him.

"Well... if he's never been late before he probably has a good reason to this once, right?" Tony seemed unsure, as if he was trying to convince himself more than Steve. 

"We all agreed he could patrol alone if he's back before one, it's ten past one now!" 

Peter was a good kid, always listening to his parents. If he was going to be late, he would've let them know. But he didn't. 

The pair sat down on their couch which was suddenly much too big for them, trying to think of something.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, activate the tracker placed in Peter's phone." Tony spoke up after a few minutes.

There was no reply, until, "sir, it seems Peter's phone is unable to send its location right now."

Tony looked at Steve, hesitating before grabbing his phone and checking to see if Peter had called or texted. Nothing. 

"Check the tracker in his suit," he spoke after a moment. A hint of panic had leaked into his voice. "Of course, sir."

"You put a tracker in his suit?" Steve spoke incredulously. Although, he was grateful that he had done it considering the circumstances. Tony had joked about putting everything in his suit, but both Steve and Peter never listened.

"The tracker isn't working, sir. It appears Peter hasn't moved much in the past 45 minutes."

Tony was about to yell in frustration before jumping at the sound of his phone ringing. It was playing some stupid song Peter had chosen as his specific ringtone. Peter. His ringtone. Fuck.

He answered the call before the second ring and was about to yell into the phone when he heard sobs and heavy breathing. 

"I-is this Mr. Parker?" A female voice spoke. Mr. Parker? Oh. His dad.

"What? I- yeah. Yeah it is, who's this?" Tony was confused, what the fuck was going on?

"I'm Michelle Jones, Peter's cla- friend. I was walking home with Ned and Peter and, and this guy came from nowhere and started attacking Peter, then us, and he's-" 'Michelle' abruptly stopped mid-sentence, a small scream and a sob echoing through. 

There was a thump and heavy breathing with the sounds of footsteps. “Ned, Ned? Ned! Wake up! He’s bleeding, oh my god, he’s bleeding.” Michelle wailed. Tony pulled the phone away from his ear, making sure she was still on the line. "Oh god. He's getting back up."

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, put the call on speaker and start tracking the location." Tony demanded. There was no reply but the call went to the speakers set around the room, the sound of heavy breathing and crying filling the silence.

"Michelle, don't call them, please don't call them," the familiar voice of Peter cried out, "please, don't call my parents, I'm fine." 

Steve and Tony shared a look, he sounded in pain. "F.R.I.D.A.Y, can you speed the tracking up?" Steve demanded.

"I'll try my best." F.R.I.D.A.Y replied.

"Peter, I need to tell them. You're losing too much blood, Ned's been knocked out and his head is bleeding, I probably have a concussion and I have glass stuck in my arm. We're just teenagers, Peter!" Michelle was trying to be angry, but the anger wasn't there.

"They'll think I'm weak," Peter sobbed through ragged breaths. "What sort of superhero am I if I can't even save my friends? I'm useless to them, I’m a fucking burden Michelle! Let me do one thing and fight back. Go, Michelle!" 

Tony buried his head into his hands, the sentence breaking him as much as it seemed to have broken Peter.

There was silence on the phone until the sound of a heavy object falling. "Peter, Peter get up. Come on, we should try get Ned out of here, he’s getting up. Peter!" Michelle's voice was slowly getting more desperate.

"I can't, my leg, m-my leg. It's trapped." Peter groaned out, a horrible crack followed by a scream that turned to a moan of pain playing loudly on the surround sound speaker system Tony had installed. He suddenly wished he hadn't.

"Leave him alone!" Michelle screamed, her voice quieter than before, meaning she had moved away from the phone.

"Help," Peter spluttered, "I know I shouldn't be weak, but I'm scared, please help us." 

"Tony, is there no other way to find him?" Steve grit his teeth, frustrated. There were three lives at stake right now, and one of them was his sons.

"Peter," Tony and Steve listened as Michelle spoke hurriedly. "I'm going to try and buy you some time. Get as far as you can away from here, even if you're crawling."

Tony looked up in alarm. What was she going to do? She clearly didn't have any powers, so this was almost like a suicide. 

"Sir, I've tracked their location. Peter is five minutes away at the park near his school." F.R.I.D.A.Y spoke up. Without hesitation, both Steve and Tony jumped up, beginning to hurry to try save the teenagers.  
\------  
"M-Michelle, no, no, no, stop!" Peter screamed, trying to stand up. His legs buckled beneath him and he screamed in agony as he fell back down.

"It's okay, Peter, I'm okay. Go. Crawl." Michelle was obviously not okay, considering the tears streaming down her face. She had paled too, blood smeared across her face.

Peter watched as their attacker - was it one of Vultures old henchmen? - slowly walked forward. Peter had managed to knock him down for a few minutes, but it wasn't good enough. He wasn't good enough. He didn't deserve to be Spiderman.

"Thanks for always keeping me safe at night." Michelle spoke, her tone flat, standing a metre in front of Peter. She knew he always followed her, making sure she arrived home safely. She knew he was Spiderman. She knew and she hadn't told anyone. Why didn't he just tell her himself? Why wait for her to figure it out? 

"Don't do this, please don't do this, Michelle, you're going to die, don't do this to me!" Peter was choking on his tears, unable to move. He was dizzy from blood loss, his left leg broken, but he couldn't let her do this. He couldn't let anyone else die because of him.

"If I die protecting you, that's okay. New York still needs Spiderman, they don't need Michelle Jones." She let out a dry laugh, and then put a hand over her mouth as she clapped back a sob.

Where were Tony and Steve? They should be here by now. They're Iron Man and Captain America, for god’s sake. 

Peter watched in horror as one of the high-tech weapons began glowing a light blue, slowly getting brighter.

In the blink of an eye, it hit Michelle. An agonising scream pierced Peter's ears, before her body flew back from impact. 

"No! No! No! Michelle! I can't lose you too!" Peter screamed. "Not you too." His voice quietened down as he watched Michelle's body hit the ground beside a red metal foot. He looked up through blurred eyes to find Tony, Steve, Bucky and Natasha staring at their attacker. 

They nodded to each other, Bucky and Natasha ran forward while Steve and Tony approached Peter.

"Kid, you okay?" Tony spoke softly. 

"I'm sorry. I tried to protect them- but he- the tech-" Peter sobbed out, his breathing becoming irregular.

"Peter, calm down. Can you walk?" Tony asked, pulling loose debris from his legs. "M-my leg... broken... I couldn't save them..." Tony looked over at Steve. "In shock."

Steve had his fingers against Michelle's wrists. "The pulse is there, but it's weak."

Natasha and Bucky returned, an unconscious figure over Bucky's shoulder. "That kid's just unconscious. Are we bringing them to the tower or a normal hospital?" 

"Bring them to the tower, we don't know the side effects of these weapons." Tony instructed, carefully picking Peter up. He screamed in pain, and within seconds was knocked out.

Tony let out a deep sigh, angered he couldn't get here sooner. "Let's get back to the tower."

 

"Ned, Ned get Mr. Stark! He's waking up!" A voice Peter found familiar spoke, panicking.

Peter frowned as he opened his eyes to a blinding light. He blinked a few times, slowly adjusting. The door flung open and Tony Stark speed-walked in, Steve Rogers close behind.

"Where am I?" Peter asked, his voice hoarse. He slowly sat up, grunting. 

"Drink this." The same voice from minutes before spoke, and Peter registered it as Michelle's voice. She was holding a plastic cup of water, her hand shaking slightly, a blanket wrapped around her. It took a moment to realise she was in a wheelchair. She looked dishevelled, a worried look etched on her face, which Peter found unusual but didn’t comment on.

Her arms were covered in bandages and her face was bruised badly. Peter did as he was told, watching as the rest of the Avengers slowly filed into the room. Ned came in last, and Michelle was already in here.

"What happened?" He asked quietly. "We were attacked." Ned spoke up. "That guy came from nowhere, yelled about getting revenge, and then everything went to hell.”

Peter let out a deep sigh, his eyes scanning over everyone before falling to the ground, avoiding eye contact. “Could you all give us a moment?” Steve spoke to the room, although it seemed more like a demand than a question. Without complaint, the room slowly emptied, with Michelle leaving last. Bucky and Natasha had to lift her wheelchair over the step into the room, and within a minute the room was silent.

Tony and Steve pulled chairs up to either side of Peter’s bed, all three waiting for someone to break the silence. Peter eventually decided to do it since he knew they were waiting for him to say something.

“I’m sorry for being a failure, I couldn’t protect them. I tried contacting you guys, but Karen shut down and my phone was on the ground until Michelle and I… I think you should take the suit back.” He spoke quickly, his words hushed. The two men blinked, unsure of what to say at the sudden outburst.

“Peter… we aren’t going to take your suit back for this. It’s hardly your fault, you tried your best and that’s the important thing. You weren’t prepared to fight someone with weapons like that. At the end of the day, you’re still a fifteen-year-old. To us, you’re a kid. The important thing is that you’re alive.” Tony spoke, grabbing onto his hand that didn’t have an IV and squeezing it slightly.

“However, there is one thing we need to talk about. Stuff you said on the call. When Michelle first got through to us, we could hear you in the background, saying stuff. Stuff like you apparently being burden and us finding you weak. You don’t actually believe that, do you, Peter?” Steve spoke, his brows furrowed and his voice overflowing with concern.

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers may have their fair share of fights, but one thing they could agree on without hesitation is their love for Peter. Although he’d only been in their lives for less than five years, they’d taken him in after the death of May Parker, he impacted both men heavily.

“Peter?” Tony pressed once they received no response from the teenager. “Well- I- I don’t know. Sometimes, I guess? When I try to save someone and it just doesn’t work out, the doubt just seeps into my mind. Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly happy having Iron Man and Captain America as my dad’s, but a part of me just wishes I could’ve saved my parents, Gwen and her dad or Aunt May, or Uncle Ben, or prevented Michelle ending up in a wheelchair and Ned bleeding out on the sidewalk. I tore Liz’s family apart too, her dad’s in prison because of me. I just feel useless that they – and so many others – may think of Spider-man and say; ‘oh man, remember that time Spider-man couldn’t save so and so?’” Peter began rambling. “And, and when I couldn’t do anything to try to protect Michelle, it just felt like I was fighting Vulture all over, when I was trapped under the rubble and nobody knew. I felt trapped like that again. I just want to help people feel safe. I want to make a difference. Without disappointing people. I just want to be enough.”

Tony’s face contorted into a grimace at the mention of Vulture, whilst Steve’s face softened. “You could never disappoint us, kiddo. We’re proud of you for every person you save. Not many kids your age would be willing to do what you do. Always risking yourself to put others first. What happened with Vulture is never going to happen again, ever. I promise. If you’re ever doubting yourself, come find one of us. That includes Bucky, Natasha, Clint, Thor and even Bruce. Even if it’s not obvious, they all care for you. New York needs Spiderman, just like we need Peter. You’re more than enough. We love you, okay?”

Tears were leaking down Peter's face. It wasn't usual for the family of three to have a serious talk like this about something that isn't a mission. It was different. 

"Is Michelle going to be able to walk again?" Peter asked after a moment, sniffling. Tony and Steve shared a look. "Why do you think she can't?" Tony asked.

"Um, the, uh, wheelchair?" Peter was confused, it was obvious what he meant.

"Oh. That. The wheelchair is just because she's too weak to be walking around, she lost a lot of blood. She can walk fine apart from being pretty shaky." Tony leaned back in his chair.

Peter let out an almost inaudible sigh of relief. "What about me?"

"Well... apart from the bump on your head and the fact your left legs broken, it could be much worse. It's mainly just cuts that you lost blood from, but you're healing pretty well, all things considered." Steve read from the file left on Peter's desk. “No more Spiderman for 6 months at least, though. We need you fully healed. Peter first, then Spiderman. Okay?”

A glassy look came over Peter's eyes, but before Steve or Tony could ask him what was wrong he shook his head. “Right. Yeah. Um, I think I might get some sleep. If that’s alright." 

They just smiled at him and watched as he lay back and closed his eyes, his body relaxing. Quietly, Steve and Tony stood up and began to walk out of the room towards the hallway. Steve noticed Tony’s face scrunched up, deep in thought, so he grabbed his hand and gave it a light squeeze. 

“He’ll be okay. It’s Peter, after all.” He spoke, not entirely convincing either of them.  
\-----  
October 19th. 

The day he last saw his parents, all those years ago. He sighed as he stood in the middle of his room, looking around. It had been months since the attack yet it was all he could think about, mixed with the date of his parents’ death. He ran a hand through his hair, and then pulled a hoodie on, grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around himself. He grabbed his earphones, plugging them in and pressing play. He grabbed the bottle of pills that had been prescribed to Tony, a glass of water, stepped out of his room and made his way to the roof.

He had to pick the lock to the door, but eventually it was opened and he shuffled over to the edge, sitting down so that his legs dangled over the edge. It was cold, but Peter already felt numb so he didn’t mind. He hesitated before taking only the prescribed amount he had seen Tony take, stuffing it into his mouth and downing the glass. He let out a sigh as his music played lowly, and just gazed out at the New York skyline as the sky turned to light purples and the skies became visible

Meanwhile, Tony was sitting alone in the kitchen, drinking from a mug of coffee. He was thinking of taking a power nap, despite the fact he was drinking coffee, until F.R.I.D.A.Ys voice spoke up, startling him.

“Sir, Peter is up on the roof of the tower. I think he may be trying to kill himself again, he just took some pills.”

Tony straightened up, the mug of coffee suddenly forgotten. “Shit. Shit, okay, thanks.” He was immediately up, the mug smashing against the tile and running towards the staircase. The elevator would take too long. It took 5 minutes, but he eventually reached the roof and burst out through the door, to find Peter just sitting on the edge, wrapped in a blanket. 

Tony let out a sigh of relief that he wasn’t too late. Slowly, he approached him. “Peter?” He spoke quietly. Peter’s head turned, and an earphone was pulled out.  
“Dad?” He spoke, confused. He seemed kind of drowsy, sending Tony into a state of slight panic. “P-Peter? How many pills did you take?”

“Oh god, dad, no, I-I’m not trying that this time… I didn’t realise…” Peter’s eyes widened. Immediately, he felt bad. Wasting Tony’s time because he’s worried that he’s doing what’s right. He wouldn’t say that to Tony, though. He’d be sent to a therapist again. 

Tony forced a weak smile. “What’re you listening to?” He pointed to the earphones. Peter took note of how cautious he was being. 

“Oh, um, it’s a song. Called ‘Broadway, Here I Come!’ and its really good.” A smile lit up Peter’s face.

Tony shrugged. “Give a listen, then.” And he put an earphone in and Peter started the song again.

Tony listened for a few seconds, until it got to the chorus. “Right, well, as good of a song that may be, you should probably be listening to something a bit happier.” Tony took Peter’s phone and pressed ‘next’, a frown appearing as Asleep by The Smiths came up. He kept tapping, but sad song after sad song kept playing. 

Peter looked away awkwardly, he never expected his dad to be listening to his playlist. “Do you, um, want me to change song?”

“Let’s just move on from music for now, I think.” Tony joked, pocketing the phone. “Peter?”

Peter jumped slightly, startled. He was half asleep, leaning forward as he fell asleep. “Huh?”

“Did you take some of my sleeping pills?” Tony frowned as he made the connection. 

“I’ve been having nightmares.” Peter spoke quietly, looking up at Tony. It was only now, up close, that Tony could see the dark circles under Peter’s eyes. The flushed cheeks, messy hair. A tear fell from Peter’s eye, his right eye, the eye that Tony realised he always cried from first.

Tony wrapped an arm around him, pulling him in close, noting how he shivered. “How long?” He spoke quietly. “5 years.” 

“They’d be proud of you, Peter.” 

“I’d hope so.” Peter sighed. He was content with this life, but of course he missed his birth parents. They stayed like that for a while, the sounds of the city seemingly distant although they were in the middle of it all.

“I love you kiddo.” He muttered as he pressed a kiss to Peter’s forehead, but it was only then he realised Peter was snoring, limp against him. Tony just closed his eyes, happy his son was okay. Eventually, he stood up, picking Peter up and carrying him inside to his room.

As soon as Peter was tucked in, he took note of how different Peter’s room was. When was the last time he had come in here? He couldn’t even think of when. A wave of guilt hit him, but he decided to try to spend more time with his son. 

“Sir, everyone has returned.” F.R.I.D.A.Y spoke, pulling Tony from his thoughts. He nodded, and with one last glance at Peter, he left the room, closing the door behind him.  
\------  
It had been exactly 4 months since the night that would change Peter Parker, Michelle Jones and Ned Leeds lives – and futures – forever. It was now November, the months slowly fading into each other as the holiday season grew near. The trio were never quite the same, if anything the incident had brought them closer together. Peter was now comfortable inviting them over without the worry of them freaking out over who his family were, or Michelle finding out he’s Spiderman. 

The Avengers lost count of the amount of times they’d come home from a mission to find the teenagers sprawled out on the couch, wrapped up in blankets asleep while the credits of a movie rolled on the T.V. 

The week that Ned had gone to visit family abroad, Bucky had even found Michelle and Peter alone, cuddled up while a horror movie was on. He promised to never tell anyone, which only lasted about a week when Steve overheard him teasing Peter about it and immediately told Tony, causing everyone to join in on the teasing.

To the Avengers, Peter seemed to be recovering fine. Sure, he was a bit jumpy, but that was to be expected. Any young kid who was attacked like he was would be jumpy, no matter how long after it was. Nobody expected him to remain carefree after that. What they didn't know, however, was that he was not recovering fine.

Every night, he woke up screaming in fear, sweat dripping from his hair. At first, he just muffled his screams and sobs with his pillow, or played music loudly which usually resulted in a visit from an annoyed Bucky or Natasha, but then he asked Tony to soundproof his room and he was free to be as loud as he wanted. He could play music to distract him from doing anything. He could temporarily let his emotions out.

"Peter, we still on for food tonight?" Ned spoke after the bell rang for class. Peter's eyes dragged from the whiteboard at the front of the class to Ned.

He hadn't slept the night before, he was too nervous, too anxious. Instead, he had gone to the living room, turned on the T.V, and binge watched episodes of The Office. At 4am, Bucky found him and ended up joining him as he couldn't sleep from nightmares. He wouldn't admit it, but he ended up curling into Bucky and sobbing about how he was scared. Bucky hadn't tried bullshitted him, telling him it gets easier. He just let him cry, which he appreciated more.

Neither of them had said anything about it to each other or anything about it that morning, they simply just kept quiet and appreciated the fact the other said nothing.

"I don't know, I think Steve booked me a check-up for my leg. I'll text you and MJ later and let you guys know." He forced out a weak smile. Ned didn't notice, and just nodded. 

"Cool, cool, I'll talk to you later then." Ned walked away, leaving Peter alone. He let out a sigh, ran his hand through his hair, and got up. He was still using crutches, Steve made him 'just in case.'

He had hoped Ned, of all people, would notice just how tired he was, how scared he was to be alone. But he didn't. Peter Parker just wanted to be okay. He also wanted someone to notice he wasn't okay.

He slung his bag over his shoulder and began walking through the halls, eventually getting outside and letting out a sigh of relief. Almost immediately, he spotted Steve right outside the gate, glasses on and a hat pulled low over his eyes, leaning against the car. 

Peter hobbled over, and muttered a hi as Steve helped him into the silver car he had chosen for today, dumping his crutches on the floor.

There was silence in the car, except for the radio playing some song Peter couldn't force himself to like. He watched as the first few drops of rain hit the car window, how they trickled down the window just like the blood went down the drain all those months ago. 

Peter blinked twice. Why had he thought of that? It had been 3 ml this at least, he had already sorted that problem. Kind of. Then again, why hadn't he thought of that? He still had the pocketknife he was given for self-defence. He told MJ he threw it out, but he had kept it. Just in case. 

And all at once, the car ride home was taking forever, and he drummed his fingers against his leg that was impatiently jumping up and down. 

Steve repeatedly glanced back at his son in the rear-view mirror, his brows furrowing slightly as he noticed Peter had suddenly perked up. He saw him take out his phone and noticed Steve staring. “Just telling Ned something.” He explained. Steve nodded, and then the lights turned green.

Five minutes later, they pulled up in front of Stark Tower and again Steve helped Peter with his crutches, leaving the car in the hands of an employee.

"Dinners in about an hour, then we just have a doctor coming for a check-up on your leg and then we were thinking of watching a movie?" Steve spoke as they rode in the elevator yet again in silence. Before, Peter would've been ranting about how Flash made more Penis Parker jokes.

"Sounds good. What movie?" Peter smiled, something that had become somewhat of a rarity lately. The sight made Steve's mouth curl upwards slightly. Progress, he hoped.

"Not sure yet. Make sure you're down for dinner on time. Use the wheelchair, okay?" Steve watched as Peter nodded frantically and practically legged it - well, sort of considering he was still on crutches - down the hall towards his room. Steve continued the elevator until he reached where the rest of the Avengers were just hanging about.

None of them would hear from Peter for about forty minutes, until he joined them in the kitchen, now in the wheelchair, the school shirt he was wearing earlier switched for a baggy grey sweater. He was pale and sweaty, his eyes bloodshot if you looked close enough, but a big smile was on his face, and yet again the Avengers believed another milestone had been reached in his healing.

They ate, chatting amongst themselves, when the door rang and everyone but Steve, Tony and Peter left as a doctor was brought in by Happy to have his leg checked and then they all curled up together on the couch to watch Deadpool. Peter fell asleep, sandwiched between Steve and Tony, a blanket later draped over him.   
\-----  
"Dad, did you sign my permission slip?" Peter asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he swallowed another mouthful of cereal.

It was nearly seven in the morning, so nobody was quite awake yet. "Dad," Peter repeated. Tony looked up from reports he had been reading, taking another long sip from his mug of coffee. "Huh? Oh. Yeah. It's back in your bag." He nodded.

"Okay. Thanks. We won't be back until around seven tonight." Peter informed him, standing up and dumping the now empty bowl into the sink. Tony nodded again, too tired to reply. There had been a lot of upgrades needed, so Tony was lacking sleep. 

"I'll see you later." Peter spoke, leaning in for a quick hug on his way out.

Despite everything else going on, he was excited for this trip. His grade was going to a bunch of museums as part of some treasure hunt since their Valentines dance got cancelled, and whoever finished first got a prize. He no longer needed the wheelchair or crutches, and Steve and Tony were in talks of letting him back out on patrol again.

Overall, today was going to be good, Peter decided. Nothing could have gone wrong.

Except Peter was wrong. Everything, and literally everything, went wrong. All at once, with the wrong people, all at the wrong place.  
\------  
"Ned, take my bag." Peter hissed, shoving the bag into the hands of his friend as he ducked inside the stairwell leading onto the roof of the building they were on. Too many people had stepped on at once, and now students were hanging off the collapsed balcony, screaming for their lives. 

The Avengers were already on their way, MJ had called Tony. It was only a matter of time before they arrived, but he was lucky he had his suit with him. He quickly rushed out and began working on webbing together the balcony as much as he could until the others got here. There was panicking teachers, Mr. Harrington especially.

From what Peter could see, there was between thirty and forty students in danger. He grit his teeth, shooting more webs. 

He let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding as he watched Thor and Tony in suit flying towards him. He looked down to see Clint, Natasha, Bucky and Steve entering the stairwell. 

"Everybody, back up!" He screamed to the remaining students, and watched as everyone bunched up together and space was made. When Steve burst out onto the roof, immediately they set to work on helping the students off. 

"There's no point trying to reattach this, it'll just break again. Get them off and make sure the area below is cleared." Peter spoke to Tony, receiving a nod in return as Tony headed down to clear the crowd forming, watching the Avengers work in awe. 

Peter watched as one of the students took a shaky step towards Clint, but rubble shifted and they began slipping. He shot a web and it clamped to their wrist, letting them dangle in air as a scream came from the crowds.

Thor immediately flew towards them and saved them, going back to rescuing the students at the back of the balcony. 

Peter nearly lost his grip as more rubble fell, he was beginning to strain himself. Steve picked up on this, and yelled for everyone to speed up. 

Within ten minutes, there was only 5 more students, Thor and Iron Man slowly flying them back up.

"Dad," Peter whimpered, afraid he was going to fail everyone and let these innocent teenagers die.

"Just a minute or two more! I promise!" Steve yelled, as he pulled a sobbing freshman up and leading her towards Mr. Harrington. 

Peter let out a gasp as his grip lessened slightly and the balcony slid down a bit more, bringing the last students with it. They let out high pitched screams, grabbing onto the closest stable thing they could.

"No, no, no." Peter wheezed, pulling harder. Tony grabbed onto two students, suddenly not taking his time, Thor following. One more person. And then there was Peter they had to get safety.

But did he deserve the safety? He didn't think so. He failed people, all the time. How many people had been hurt in the past 5 months since he stopped patrolling? Hearing news about how someone was robbed or attacked and thinking he could've stopped, slowly broke him. The scars on his arm that remained unknown to everybody was a sign of that.

"Spidey?"

He was nothing but a disappointment to his family. He could never do anything okay. His grades, something he had always prided himself in for maintaining consistent A's, had fallen. Even though Steve and Tony told Peter multiple times that his grades didn't define him, that everything's okay because he had next year to catch up.

He didn't really believe them. They were just saying that because they pitied him. That's the only reason Natasha and Clint spent time helping him train, why Thor watched Disney movies with him, why Bucky would let him cry onto his shoulder at three a.m. while cartoon reruns played, why Steve and Tony adopted him. It was all out of pity, no matter how much they denied.

If only he hadn't survived any of the attacks, if only he hadn't been born. Dead. That's what he should be. It's what he wants to be. It's what he deserves. 

"Spidey!" A voice snapped him back to reality. He looked up. Steve, Tony. Oh. He forgot where he was. Right.

"Come on, everyone's safe." Natasha called, the crowd of shaken up students watching.

"No," Peter spoke weakly, receiving confused looks. "Everybody isn't safe."

"Spiderman, what-" Ned called out, but was stopped as everyone watched Peter-in-suit readjust himself, the webs being the only thing holding the balcony together. It wouldn't last long though. Like Peter.

He pulled his hands away from it, and slowly pulled at his mask, his identity revealed. There was a gasp of shock amongst the crowd, at the fact Peter Parker of all people was Spiderman.

"Peter, what are you doing?" MJ called, pushing her way to the front.

"I-I'm doing something I should have done a long time ago- I'm-" Peter began fumbling with his words, as he slowly shot a web around his neck and another two between the building his friends and family were on and the one across the street from it. A tightrope.

The whispers between the crowd suddenly stopped as they all stared in shock.

"Peter, I don't know what you're thinking of doing, but I need you to come back over here." Steve spoke slowly, gesturing to Tony and Thor to stay put. They didn’t want to startle him and possibly ruin everything.

He had seen stuff like this before, obviously not the same, but the intentions were, back when he was in the army. He had seen Bucky try this multiple times. His stomach twisted in a knot at the fact his son, his 15-year-old son, was about to do this. “Don’t do this, Peter. Please, don’t do this. We can get you help. Stay with us. Come on, please.” Steve became desperate.

"I can't, anymore, dad, I can't." Peter swallowed a lump in his throat. "I'm such a failure. I don’t deserve the help. I can't do anything right. I just stress you all out. Spider-Man has fucked up more than he's helped. I've been thinking of this for months. I've been hurting myself for months about it and lying to my best friends." He paused for a moment to send an apologetic, teary eyed glance to MJ and Ned, both of whom had gone deathly pale. MJ was shaking, clinging onto Ned.

"I can't live with myself, knowing I am that much of a failure. You all deserve better. MJ, Ned... thank you both, for everything. I'm so sorry you got dragged into this. Nat, Clint; thank you both for training me and helping me through physical therapy. I love you both. Thor, thank you for watching all those Disney movies with me, I really enjoyed it all. Bucky... I cannot thank you enough. Thank you for always letting me cry onto your shoulder about my problems, and always being there to hug me as I fell asleep at 3am. You're the best uncle anyone could have ever asked for. Steve, Tony... my dad’s. You guys gave me everything. You gave me an amazing family, lifestyle, education... I'm sorry I couldn't be good enough. I love you both, even through all our fights, thank you for letting me save people. Thank you for letting me live. I'm sorry that I'm doing this, but it's what I want. I can't live with myself anymore, but I will always be with you both. I'm sorry for all the wasted money. I love you both so much." Peter was now sobbing, his makeshift tightrope shaking dangerously.

Multiple people were screaming his name, Michelle in tears. She knew. She knew he never stopped, she knew he wasn't okay, but she stayed silent. Why did she say silent? 

"Peter, take my arm, now," Bucky commanded, arm outstretched, shaking. This kid meant the world to him. He wasn’t going to give up now. Peter would be okay. He would be okay.

Natasha, Clint, Thor, Steve and Tony along with the crowd all watched in horror as Peter looked down.

"Goodbye." He spoke, and then he fell, Tony Stark rushing back into his suit as Thor flew forward trying to grab the teenager, yet there was still a horrible snapping sound, and suddenly Peter Parker hung above New York, the darkness welcoming him.

There was silence as everyone tried processing what just happened. And then a scream erupted from Michelle, and choked sobs came from Natasha's mouth, and chaos erupted.

"Clear the area!" Clint screamed, pushing students away as tears began to fall. Bucky fell to his knees, suddenly overcome by flashbacks. Steve and Tony were silent, eyes both widened as their son’s corpse dangled in front of them.

"T-Tony..." Steve whispered, his voice cracking. "I'm here. I'm here. Steve. Oh, god, Steve." Tony collapsed into his arms, sobbing. Holding each other, they sank to the ground, tears coming from both.

The sounds of sirens grew near as the Avengers, Ned and Michelle sobbed at the loss of the one source of happiness they could count on.   
\-----  
Michelle stared at the floor the entire time, sobbing onto Ned's shoulder as the memorial went on. It was February 19th, marking one year since the death of Peter Parker.

It hit them hard, the first of everything. The first birthday, the first school dance, the first Halloween, the first Christmas, the first anniversary.

"It's my fault." Michelle spoke shakily. "I knew and I didn't stop him." 

The Avengers just watched her as they stood at his grave, the sunset soft against the white marble tombstone, exhaustion visible on all their faces. None of them tried saying anything, there was nothing for them to say. "We all saw small signs, Michelle. It's okay. We couldn't have known the... the full extent." Ned tried, but still grimaced.

“How has it already been a year?” Bucky spoke, his voice devoid of emotion, yet his face held it all.

The group stood there for a while. All silent, until Michelle stepped forward and placed white roses, the ones Peter had made sure were used at the funerals of loved ones he lost, by the candles placed at the top of his grave.

Silence.

Then, together, they walked away.

Because the warning signs were always there, ever since his encounter with the Vulture. It's just that nobody paid enough attention to notice.


End file.
